Tanya Gutsol edits the Russian language blog Jewlicious.ru. She is a staff person at UMBC Hillel, a veteran Taglit-Birthright Israel madrichah, an alumni of ROI120 and a big fan of fine shwarma.

As we get older our opinions and perspectives on life evolve and develop. Things that seemed normal during childhood become completely bizarre during adulthood. Despite our commonly stated intention to not act like our parents, we still inevitably moderate and alter our behavior as we age. With respect to Israel, in my life there has always been a thin line between what is deemed weird and what is deemed normal.

What’s Normal?
- I was born in the 80s in the Soviet Union, commonly acknowledged as and without a doubt the best country in the world!
- My Mom stood in huge lines to get food staples. Twice a month she could get meat. Food was obtained using special tickets. The tickets looked cool because they were pink and square! Was the meat kosher? We had no idea what “kosher” meant.
- My Grandmother used to take me to watch performances at the puppet theatre. She would tell me that the theatre reminds her of a place she used to go to when she was a child with her Mother and Father on Friday nights. But instead of “puppet theatre” the place was called “synagogue” and instead of performances, they had “services.” I wasn’t quite sure what she was talking about but it sounded interesting – like a fairy tale!
- Travelling to the train station in order to bid farewell to friends and family who were moving to quasi-mystical places like the United States and Canada. Soon they will be able to drink Coca Cola and visit Disneyland every single day! Then there are the ones moving to Germany. That’s not so far away and they tell us that they never have to work again as the government pays for everything! Too bad it’s not the same at home. And what about this Israel place? All I know is it’s hot. Everyone cries a lot. We’re always both happy and sad and no one is certain when we will all meet again. In 2 months I’ve been here eight times. It was my Grandfather’s birthday and around the table it felt like there was no family left.

What’s Weird?
- After years of unemployment, my Mom finally got a job. It was with some new Jewish community organization. Mom asked me not to tell anyone.
- I got a “Happy New Year” card in the middle of Fall. I thought that there must be something wrong with our postman but then it turned out this was some Jewish holiday. I decided that I need to look into this further. My school teacher suggested I use this thing called the “Internet.” I could find answers to all my questions as long as I knew the “web address.” Technology merely added to my questions. Great.
- By the way, did you know that green and picturesque Kiev park Babi Yar, notorious site of the largest single massacre in the history of the Holocaust, where 33, 771 Jews of Kiev were shot in one day, has a sign at the entrance that reads “Park of Culture and Recreation?” Nice.
- A friend of a friend told me I could go to Israel for free with some group called Taglit-Birthright Israel. Right. First of all, that’s impossible. Secondly, that’s really kind of random. And thirdly… well, I went.
- Apparently Jewish women in America can and do wear kippahs. I can sort of understand the reasoning, but my eyes still need to get used to it. I am also now finally able to say or hear the word “Jew” without flinching. I can even say it without whispering. Jew, Jew, Jew! Nice.
- There are symbols on food products in supermarkets all across the US that signify that the food is suitable for consumption by Jews who keep Kosher. Not just in Brooklyn or other places where there are many Jews, but everywhere! And it’s not some kind of secret either – even non-Jews know what it means. Interesting.

What’s Awesome?
- Upon my return from Israel, I found a box of Matzah on my desk at work. My co-workers had been eating it with cheese and sausages while admiring the “damn good cracker.” I had no idea who left it on my table until our new driver winked at me while showing me his Star of David necklace – the one that looked the same as the one I was wearing that I had just purchased in Israel.
- I am going to LEAD a Taglit-Birthright Israel trip this winter! Me!
- One of the trip participants, a van Wilder type – king of all parties, the biggest fan of drinking, smoking pot and flirting with girls, announced to me that as a result of his trip he was joining the IDF. He wanted to move to Israel and be a Doctor. He had to move out of his house and stay with his sister because his Mother was furious at his decision. A few days later he booked his flight.
- I ran into a friend of mine from Ukraine in Jerusalem. She told me she originally came to Israel with one goal in mind – to make out with an Israeli soldier. She then introduced me to her children and her husband. Let me tell you that wig really suited her and her Hebrew is great. She looked different, but definitely happy.
- I met an old woman in a small town in the Ukraine. We were at her house as part of a Passover project with American students who were visiting the Former Soviet Union. When we sang Dayenu to her, she recognized the song and squeezed my hand hard. She begged us to take her with us. It didn’t matter where we were going because she had no one left and was the only Jew in the place. We served as a reminder to her that despite everything, the Jews had survived and thrived.
- I’ve become reacquainted with friends of my family. We lost touch a long time ago and then rediscovered each other online. One of their twin girls born in tel Aviv shares the same name as my Mom. How random!

What’s Cute?
- I called my Dad long distance from the US to discuss with him the upcoming ROI conference I was about to attend. I was nervous about the new people I was going to meet, the places to which I’d have to travel, the horrors of flying with Israir (God help me!), the ravages of the hot sun on my delicate Ukrainian skin, my lack of clothes, blah blah blah. He listened attentively and then calmly told me not to worry. “Israel loves those who love Israel. I think by now it’s clear that you really love Israel, right? So just stop, calm down and relax.” So I listened to him and stopped worrying about the details and stupid worries. I was going to Israel again. That’s all that mattered. I was just being nervous, the way you are prior to a date with some hot guy you’re really in love with. Wait a minute… my Father isn’t even Jewish. How did he know??

What’s Eternal?
- I was writing my requests, prayers and messages of thanks onto various scraps of paper. Spamming the Western Wall is so much fun. I closed my eyes as I got closer and silenced my mind prior to my prayer: Спасибо, за то, что привел меня сюда вновь! Sh’ma Yisrael Adonai Eloheinu Adonai Echad. Why was I here again? I knew I wasn’t going to get an immediate response, especially not in Russian. But I knew I’d likely get it at some point. And the response would represent something balanced precariously between “weird” and “normal.”

WTF?
- Are you still reading this? Wow. Hopefully you found something resonant in my words. Thank you Israel for everything you’ve given me. Happy Birthday!