60 Bloggers
Happy Birthday Israel: 60 Posts in 60 Days
Yes Greasy Falafel man, I still love you
Author: aarons16 Apr
Aaron Small blogs for Jewlicious as well as on his personal blog, Life in Samsonite. A veteran of the Jewish communal world, he inexplicably just can’t stay away from the Jews.
Israel. Land of bizarre advertisements and taglines, over stylized jeans my metrosexual cousin won’t even wear, cosmopolitan aliveness of Tel-Aviv, and center of a global conflict. For all the nice things I could say, let me start off with the bad - if we’re lucky, we’ll end up at some happy point where you’ll consider making aliyah.
Ha. Just kidding. I’d never put you in such an awkward position. (Unless you were my girlfriend)
My first few weeks in Israel were nothing short of euphoric: gelato, cafe beaches, the shuk, chocolate and pistachio halva, girls and the already-discovered-yet-still-profound realization that they were ALL Jewish (even the hot ones) and if I believed in the tenets of polygamy -hell, there’s only one I’m talking about- I’d be in heaven right now, the living breathing polluted space that is Tel-Aviv…Eventually though, the euphoria wears off, the masks are removed, and I started to see the other side of Israel, the side the outreach agencies fail to tell you about. And I was filled with questions.
When you’re in a club, why do Israelis feel it necessary to bump you with your shoulders, knocking your drink out of your hand, then looking at you like you got in their way? You see that I’m standing in line, waiting to pay for my Prigat juice. Do you really think you can sneak by me and pay first? We’re ALL getting on this bus! Okay Haredi: your pushing, isn’t helping now, is it? And of course: the Dizengoff bus over there, coming up now. Think it’s gonna blow up today?
When my family told me that living in Israel is hard, like an idiot I brushed all warning aside. And then one day, all the madness clicked. It is a struggle to live here. The pushing, the shoving, the competition, the fights over shekels, the adoni! can’t you see I need to move this refrigerator at 1 in the afternoon there is no other time this is why I need to block the entire street - I didn’t see the point in staying. For anyone. I went to the desert right as I hit my breaking point, and had a lovely time gardening, building with mud, playing with ideas of permaculture and sustainability, becoming a soldier in the eco-movement. I miss that place tons: the slowness, the quiet, the tranquility, the overall SIMPLICITY of everything. (If you want to read about it, check out life in samsonite and search the earth tag)
But after all the madness, there is still a yearning for that place, the bumping breathing space that is Israel. Israel truly is alive, and not like NY alive or LA alive or Amsterdam alive. It’s a breed entirely of its own, the fusion of Japanese restaurants, hippie festival goers, Carlebach evangelists, Thailand date pickers, nerve wracked taxi drivers, and teenage war heroes. If you find anything that comes close to that, send me the coordinates and I’m buying the ticket.
Till then, I can only say that Israel is Israel, and I love it.
The 60 Bloggers project is co-production of Jewlicious.com and the Let My People Sing Festival. It is published daily for 60 days to celebrate Israel’s 60 birthday.
12 Responses for "Yes Greasy Falafel man, I still love you"
Very well said, Aaron. Beyond the euphoria lies truth.
Yes. That and a bunch of sweaty arsim and impatient waitresses who get mad when you don’t buy alcohol from them.
What a beautiful description of life in Israel. So honest and well written.
There’s a cover for every ars. There’s an impatient boyfriend behind every impatient waitress. The trick is to find their opposites and hang out with them.
What’s wrong with arsim?? I’ve had glorious fist fights with my holy brothers and then when we’re done, we hug and drink arak all night long.
I don’t hate them because they’re dirty, sweaty, chauvinistic hyper-testosteroned rude annoying poor replacements for animals, but for something else entirely. I forgot what that something is, but when I remember I’ll let you know ck.
I’ve always wondered: Do arsim know they’re arsim? Do they have a Jeff Foxworthy-type who brings out arsy pride? I think they kick your ass if you throw that label at them.
Yeah. There actually is. His name is Omri Gandav. He’s 42, underwent heavy plastic surgery to make him look 25, and never age any further. They gather three times a year and during holidays to wax each other’s back and compare the latest Speedo styles. Then of course, there’s the ritual of Pushing the Man down the stairs.
It’s hilarious.
That’s it. We’re taking our facebook group “Mifleget Ha Arsim” and making it an official political party. Go to Mr. Zol in Rechaviah and try to buy cheese at the cheese counter. You don’t have to be an Arse to be obnoxious in Israel. At least they eat good food.
As far as I know, “ars” is also an ethnic slur…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ars_(slang)
Would you say that all Jews with a Middle Eastern background are arsim and freykot, or is it a special breed of Middle Eastern Jews? Would you include any Israeli Jews of Ashkenazi background among the “arsim”? When I read blogs such as yours, I get the impression that you would not, and that the only good Israelis are the nice, well-bred Anglo ones like yourself!
Your comments remind me of an Israeli acquiantance who quite seriously explained to me that Oriental music (I think he meant both classic Arabic and Israeli “Yam Tikhonit” music) is, quote, “primitive”, but that it’s becoming more “civilized”-he gave Eyal Golan’s watered-down “oriental” pop as an example. I don’t know if any serious musicologist would regard the music of Oum Kalthoum or any of the classic Arab artists as “primitive”, but that’s beside the point, I guess.
Personally, I’d say that the Israelis that irritate me the most are not the “arsim”, but all the snotty “Westerners” with their “not-so-well-hidden” prejudices and ethnic superiority complex. In some ways I guess that my Jewish Moroccan friend was right when she said that “all Jews are equal, but some Jews are more equal than others”
I was being ironic. While I am definitely well bred (thanks Aba and Ima!) and I have a certain facility with the English language (thanks Aba and Ima!), I am as Moroccan as one can be. And I live in Israel. I eat snotty Westerners for breakfast - I am in every way a repudiation of every ignorant prejudice they have about me and my fellow Mizrachi Jews. As far as “equality” goes, it’s becoming less and less of an issue every day. I look forward to the day when the old guard finally retires and the reigns of power in Israel will be passed on to a new generation of successful and accomplished young Israeli leaders to whom ethnic distinctions are irrelevant.
Wikipedia’s definition was “an Israeli slang term for a person of bad manners, flashy jewellery, and overall rudeness.”
How is that an ethnic slur?
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